What Will I Regret Not Doing? What Research Says—and What I’m Doing Now

I know myself. I tend to regret things. So I want to think ahead and do something now about the regrets I can already imagine.

Regret is the feeling that a different choice might have led to a better outcome. Research points to education, work, relationships, and unfulfilled aspirations.

11 studies: education 32.2%, career 22.3%, romance 14.8%, parenting 10.2% of reported regrets. What We Regret Most… and Why — Roese & Summerville (2005)

6 studies: ideal-self regrets were reported more often than duty-related regrets (72% vs. 28%). 76% named an unfulfilled aspiration as their biggest regret. The Ideal Road Not Taken — Davidai & Gilovich (2018) · Cornell’s explanation

These numbers describe the study samples. A separate survey of 370 US adults put romance first (19.3%), then family (16.9%). Inaction regrets lasted longer. Regrets of the Typical American — Morrison & Roese (2011)

Over time, things left undone tend to become more prominent regrets. That is why I want to act now. The Experience of Regret — Gilovich & Medvec (1995)

I recognize this feeling. I had a bachelor’s degree from Kyiv, but felt I lacked an education in the US. At 38, I went to California Lutheran University for my MBA. I also went to Arizona State University online for a bachelor’s in psychology. I acted on something that mattered to me.

1. Staying a beginner. I can play tennis and surf, but I’m not really good at either. Maybe I’ll surf more in Malibu or play more tennis here in Conejo Valley. I am trying to practice consistently and give myself time to improve.

My challenges give consistency a concrete shape: 365 Morning Running Challenge, with 6 km or more each morning, and 26-Week LA Marathon 2027 Training.

2. Never feeling established in my work. I’ve invested in real estate, invented things, and written several patents, yet sometimes feel I don’t have a profession. I want to give at least 1 year, possibly 5, to Spark, my app, Zai, and my advisory. These are the things I’m trying to build.

3. Keeping my work to myself. I want to be more vocal about what I’m doing and let go of some perfectionism. Sharing finally feels right; I’m not seeking approval or trying to prove anything.

4. Not making time for fun. I want to explore restaurants and activities, and do more beach workouts with Mark in Hermosa Beach. I want to enjoy these experiences without needing a result or a check mark. My Visit Every U.S. National Park challenge also makes room for exploration.

5. Forgetting this chapter. I want to keep notes, photos, and recordings as I go. Documenting my life feels right, and I don’t need every entry to be polished.

I can’t predict every regret. But I can act on the ones I already see.

Look, I’m still figuring this out. I’m living my life, reading research, learning from other people, and refining my thinking as I go. I don’t have a perfect answer. This is a process. My 365 Morning Running Challenge is one way I’m putting it into practice—showing up each day and building consistency.